So Numb
by ArtemisFowl43
Summary: Artemis and Holly's lives before the collision of their races and the start of the series.


**So Numb**

**By ArtemisFowl43**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ARTEMIS FOWL OR LINKIN PARK**

* * *

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_

_Feeling so faithless_

_Lost under the surface._

_Don't know what you're expecting of me_

_Put under the pressure _

_Of walking in your shoes._

_(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)_

* * *

Artemis closed the door to his father's study behind him, and slumped against the wall. His father had just repeated the family motto over and over again, and then told young Artemis that he was going on an expedition on the _Fowl Star_. "I'm expecting you to take good care of the business while I'm gone, Artemis," the boy had been told. His father had never called him son, or Arty; nor had he hugged the boy. But then again, Artemis wouldn't know how to react in that situation.

And then everything went wrong. The _Fowl Star _sank in the Gulf of Kola, and his father went missing for two years. The courts claimed he was legally dead, and Artemis' mother fell into a mental decline. Artemis hid himself under a cold and calculating mask, determined to find and rescue his father by whatever means necessary.

* * *

_I've become so numb_

_I can't feel you there_

_Become so tired, so much more aware._

_I'm becoming this_

_All I want to do,_

_Is be more like me,_

_And be less like you._

* * *

Daybreak on the suface found Holly Short frantically trying to make it to work on time. As soon as she got to LEP Headquarters though, she found she was half a minute late- a capitol offence in Commander Julius Root's books.

She then spent the remainder of the morning in his office, breathing in his foul smelling fungus cigar fumes, and getting yelled again about how she wasn't fit for the job. This happened almost everyday, and Holly had almost memorized Root's rants. By the time she was let out of his office, Foaly, her only true friend, had already gone back to work and couldn't talk to her. She sighed, and went up to the surface so she could complete the Ritual.

* * *

_Can't you see that you're smothering me?_

_Holding too tightly, _

_Afraid to lose control?_

_'Cause everything that you thought I would be_

_Has fallen apart, right in front of you_

_(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)_

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you._

_(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)_

_And every second I waste is more than I can take…_

Artemis was crouched next to Butler underneath a fabric that would hide them well from night-vision goggles or infrared vision just outside of Tara. They were waiting for a fairy, specifically one low on magic, to come to this site to complete the Ritual. Sadly, this was one of the nights where nothing; either magical or not, came near the site, so Artemis and his bodyguard hunkered down for the night.

Artemis sighed as he thought of his father in front of him, saying, "Gold is Power, Artemis, and don't you ever forget it." How was he supposed to rescue his father now?

* * *

_And I know_

_I may end up failing too_

_But I know_

_You were just like me with someone disappointed in you…_

* * *

Both Holly and Artemis spent the night awake, tears more often than not coursing down their cheeks. But by the morning, both of them were ready, ready to do whatever it took to complete their tasks. Holly was ready to prove to Commander Root that she was the best person for the job, while Artemis was ready to spend another day in that ditch looking for fairies. But both of them knew that inside, they were hollow and numb. They were both tired of having to prove themselves over and over again when they knew they could do what was set out for them.

But time ticks forwards, and waits for no man, or fairy, so they both must move forwards and learn from the past. Maybe someday they wouldn't be so numb, maybe when Root accepts Holly, or when Artemis finds his fairy. It's all up to the choices they make and the paths they choose.

But for now, they are both numb, too numb to see the imminent collision of their races, and powerless to stop it.

* * *

_I've become so numb,_

_I can't feel you there_

_Become so tired_

_So much more aware._

_I'm becoming this_

_All I want to do_

_Is be more like me_

_And be less like you._

_I've become so numb…_

_(I'm tired of being what you want me to be)_

_I've become so numb…_

_(I'm tired of being what you want me to be)…_

_**-Fin-**_


End file.
